


the adventures of phil schifly

by hey_you_with_the_face



Series: flash ficlet [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: A little but of fluff, Cashier Dean, Crack, Dean is still freaking out, M/M, Mob Boss Castiel, Phil Schifly, Talking, Walmart, Worried Castiel, Worried Dean, still no idea what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 17:07:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11317881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hey_you_with_the_face/pseuds/hey_you_with_the_face
Summary: Phil Schifly's life was nondescript and boring but he figured it was much better than the alternative...





	the adventures of phil schifly

**Author's Note:**

> Part two to RavensCAT's prompt with an assist from longkissgoodnightbatmanandtwofac's prompt for this series :)

Phil Schifly was a lie.

He came into being months ago after a date gone wrong and made his debut at a funeral. The funeral was for some down on his luck Walmart cashier. Many a head was shaken at the event and many people commented that ‘he had been such a nice boy.’ 

According to the police reports, there had been a terrible car accident; the classic muscle car that the cashier had so painstakingly restored in his spare time had careened off the road and into the local gorge. The report speculates that alcohol may have been involved but then, there was no way to be sure as the body had been almost completely incinerated in the mangled wreckage of the crash. What most people didn’t know, since it hadn’t been released in the papers, was that several police detectives had theorized that this crash was no accident; that the cashier had become involved with the criminal elements of the city and that perhaps this was actually a hit. 

Of course there wasn’t enough evidence to support this theory so Detectives Henriksen and Munroe were forced to let the matter go and return to their other cases.

Leaving Phil Schifly in the clear.

This was just a happy windfall of course. Phil wasn’t looking to avoid the police but he sure as shit wasn’t going to complain. No, he was avoiding a much more menacing opponent, one that would rest at nothing to get his hands on him and probably wouldn’t be fooled by bad home dye job. 

But in Phil’s defense, at least when he dyed his hair red, he’d remembered to color his eyebrows too.

After the funeral, he’d decided a change in scenery was in order. Two states’ worth of scenery to be exact and he’d finally settled down in a one horse town whose other inhabitants were happy to look the other way when he presented his not quite convincing driver’s license and other identifying documents. So everyday Phil went to his job at the local gas station, put in his lackluster ten hours on the day shift (he’d been very specific on this request) before going back to his one room apartment. Whatever money he made that didn’t go for gas, food, and rent went into the jar he’d started for his plastic surgery.

He wanted to have a little work done, so sue him.

It wasn’t an exactly fulfilling life but it beat being tortured, killed and chopped up into tiny pieces and Phil was happy with it.

Until the fateful day Castiel Novak walked through the door of the Gas n’ Sip.

“I’ve been looking all over for you, Dean.”

 

And just like that, the little fantasy Dean had been building in his head disappeared. Not because fantasy Castiel had wandered in and ruined his train of thought.

No, because Castiel’s actual voice echoed through the quiet of his apartment.

Dean whirled around, his hands still elbow deep in his duffel bag as he tried to fit his whole crappy life into one small space, to see Castiel standing in the darkened doorway of his bedroom door. 

_Fucking shit._

His eyes flickered from corner to corner of his room, looking for something he could use as a weapon; he decided on the baseball bat he kept in the closet but the problem was getting to it. 

“Oh, thank god you’re okay,” Castiel said as he walked into the room. His eyes had dark circles under them and it looked like he hadn’t slept all night, not that Dean felt sorry for him; he hadn’t exactly gotten any shut eye. 

Castiel hurried into the room, his arms opened wide as if to hug him, or trap him. Dean jumped back, scattering clothes everywhere, moving away until his back hit the wall.

“Back off,” he barked, or at least he tried to; his voice sounded more squeaky than intimidating but hopefully the glare he gave Castiel more than made up for the difference. “I don’t know what all that shit was back there but I don’t want any part of it.”

If Dean weren’t so damn pissed off, the look of hurt in those eyes probably would have made him feel bad.

“Dean, I am so sorry,” Castiel said, wringing his hands. He took another step forward but quickly stepped back at Dean’s angry glare, his expression taking on a decidedly guilty tone. “I know I promised you would be safe and that I let you down but I swear, I didn’t know that she was going to show up.”

A tiny bit of fear induced rage may have leaked out of him as he listened to this but Dean still stayed plastered against the wall.

Castiel stepped forward and Dean had to work really hard to resist the pull of those big blue eyes. “I never wanted to witness that part of my life and I know you’re probably frightened---”

“Frightened?” Dean scoffed, finally stepping away from the wall into Cas’ face. “Try fucking terrified, Cas!” He poked him in the chest sharply with a finger. “I finally thought I’d come to terms with all your crazy mob stuff and thought ‘hey, maybe I can roll with it’ but then I go on one date with you, one goddamn date, and there’s a fucking hand next to my fucking plate.”

“Dean, I swear, that is not the norm for me,” Cas replied, his voice taking on an edge of desperation. He grasped one of his hands, which Dean allowed as he raised an eyebrow at him. Cas sighed. “Okay, yes I do tend to do things along those lines but I don’t involve any innocents and I certainly don’t do it on a date. It’s just---they were _threatening_ you. I could not let that stand.” 

Cas reached up and cupped Dean’s face, holding him so gently that it bordered on reverence. His blue eyes burned into Dean’s. “I swear I would _never_ allow anyone to harm you; I would tear anyone apart who came near you---”

“Dammit Cas! That’s not the point,” Dean shouted as his frazzled nerves and raw emotions finally reached the breaking point. He knocked Cas’ hands from his face and glared at his shocked expression. “I’m not afraid of what they’ll do to me, I’m afraid of what they’ll do to you!”

Silence hung heavy in the room at his confession so that the only thing Dean could hear was the frantic pounding of his own heart.

Wow, had he really just said that?

“I thought...you were frightened of what I did to Ishim,” Cas said, his brows knit in confusion. “But you’re actually worried about _me_?”

Dean ran a hand roughly through his hair and huffed a sigh. “I mean, yeah; I guess so. I’m not going to lie; that shit at the restaurant, fucking freaky as fuck,” he said, trying to gather his scattered thoughts into order, “And I may have had a brief fantasy of faking my death and starting a new life but deep down I knew that going down this road with you would mean I might see some nasty shit.”

He walked over and sat down on his bed, pushing his half packed duffle off the edge so Cas could join him. “But what I didn’t count on was how much the thought of you being in the middle of that would scare the hell out of me.”

A warm hand cover his and squeezed. Dean looked up to see Cas smiling at him softly. “I know that this is all new to you,” he said slowly, “But I have been doing this for a long time. I know how to handle myself and these people. Take Naomi, her entire network has already been disbanded and the police will find evidence linking her to the murder of Ishim.” He paused and smirked. “I’ve arranged for her stay in prison to be extremely brief, not to mention painful. If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s navigating this world of mine.”

They sat in silence for a minute, hands intertwined, while Dean absorbed and processed. He was still freaked out but having Cas remind him that there’s a reason he’s the biggest bad in the criminal was actually pretty comforting in a weird way.

Maybe he could handle this.

“Alright,” he sighed, playing idly with Cas’ fingers. “I’m willing to give this another shot but you need to promise you’ll be careful. No more doing stupid shit that might get you caught, like chopping off hands in public, okay?”

The sheepish look on Cas’ face was pretty damn adorable as he nodded. “Fair enough,” Cas said, raising Dean’s hand to his mouth to brush his lips over the skin lightly. “I promise not to take unnecessary risks but know that I won’t hesitate to protect you.”

Dean grinned as the knot of tension in his stomach finally released and he reached up to cup Cas’ cheek. “How about a kiss to seal the deal?”

Beaming, Cas nodded. “Of course, that’s the only way to conclude such an important bargain as this,” he murmured as he leaned in, eyes half lidded.

_I wouldn’t have been able to pull off red hair anyway_ , Dean mused to himself as their mouths met and moved softly together. _And this is way better than a life as Phil Schifly_. 

**Author's Note:**

> And there we are, the boys are happy again :)  
> I had a lot fun writing Dean's vision of his new life, haha
> 
> Anyway, I just want to want to warn you all that my updates might be a bit sparse here for a while for I may have a SPN big bang sitting in my google docs that is only about a quarter of the way finished and I need the rough draft done by August. So for the next few weeks I'm going to be buckling down on that so if you want to send me prompts for this verse (and I totally encourage you to if you want to), it might take me a bit to get to them but I promise I will write them :)


End file.
